I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
We named our party play list daddy issues
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
