my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
