I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
