You just made me feel so damn special
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
