Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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