Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
