You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
