she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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