My cat gives me a boner
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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