okay pat passed out under dana's car
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
