hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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