Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
