My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Randomize
