Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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