he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
