dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
is wine microwaveable?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Randomize
