he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
