remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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