I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
