You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just want nice things and good sex
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
