Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Life is so much better after having sex.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
