your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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