then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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