Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
