I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You were trust falling into bushes
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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