I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
His nipple licking is glorious
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