Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
