Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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