You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
