this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
