That's intense
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
