so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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