I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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