Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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