i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
