After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
