how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
nutella sex= disaster
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
