Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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