Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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