Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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