ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
this hospital has no fireball
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
