So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
