Can Purell be used as lube?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
