I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Randomize
