i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It's official drugs can't kill me
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
