Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
