break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
