That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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