I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
