Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
