True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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