when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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